Evil Overlord List

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A potential Evil Overlord provides his list of 100 ways to be successful at villainy.

The List.


Mission Statement

"Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time."

The List

  • Number 90 I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
  • Number 78 I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
  • Number 75 I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
  • Number 67 No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
  • Number 6 I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
  • Number 2 My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

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The Official Evil Overlord List

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