Angle Grinder Man

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Revision as of 15:58, 5 July 2009

Angle-Grinder Man is one of the most selfless superheroes ever.

Angle-Grinder Man!

Contents

Story

It was a fateful day in England when an otherwise ordinary man found himself oppressed under the heel of a parking boot. The clamp rendered his vehicle immobile until he paid the clampers to remove it. Believing that it was undeserved, he was inspired to fight for his rights instead of handing money over to bureaucratic wrongdoers. "There's no school you can go to to learn how to be a superhero", so he had to figure it out himself. He rented an angle-grinder (known as a "circular saw" to Americans), removed the boot with his own two hands, and drove off into history.

Though he maintains a secret identity, his phone number has been made public. He has not, however, been known to be active recently.

Mission

My obsession with Wheel-clamping is actually a rebellion against a much deeper malaise. Namely, the arrogant contempt that politicians hold for the people who put them into power, and whom they claim to represent. Wheel-clamping, Speed Cameras, Congestion Charging, proposed I.D. cards, omnipresent C.C.T.V. Cameras, new toll-roads, and the M.M.R. vaccine fiasco are all good examples of inept administrators attempting to make their lives easier and solve their own mismanagement problems by persecuting the people that they have failed.

Weapons

  • Gas-powered, air-cooled, two-stroke, Husqvarna K-650 angle grinder

References

His Official MySpace
As reported by the BBC
As reported by the New York Times
As reviewed in Car and Driver
See Angle-Grinder Man in action at YouTube

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